Month 4

Right this very second you rolled over for the first time in front of me. Apparently you've been doing it for everyone but me. I can't believe how much you've grown in this last month! We're still going strong with breastfeeding which is such a great accomplishment! You talk to yourself, daddy, grandma and pretty much anyone who will listen to you all the time. Today you also had to first taste of real baby food! We made such a mess, but it was so much watching you figuring it out. Today you also gave me your first belly laugh. (Today has just been a lot of first for you!) I still take about 100 pictures a day of you which will probably never change! I love you so much baby boy, and each day I learn to love you more and more. This has been such an amazing journey and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us !

Some pictures from this month! 

You get more and more handsome each day. 

Bug,

As your lying next to me, I can't help but want to wake you up just so I can see your smile. But I know that i'll regret it because its 2:08 in the morning. I still can't sleep without checking on your every 10 minutes. You giggled for me today, and it was breath taking. You cried right after because I squeeled so loud and it scared you, but regardless it happen. You're growing up so much and it breaks my heart that in a few short weeks, i'll have to return to work and you'll have to go to the baby sitters, and i'll be away from you for 8 hours. I can barely go 1 whole hour without missing you like crazy.  No one is gonna understand your cries, or that you like to sniff your feet. I'm afraid you're not going to get the attention you need if you go to some daycare. I love you so much that I don't want just "somebody" watching you. I want Daddy or I to be that one. Or some relatively close. But bills have to be paid and we need light to see you at night, so someone has to work . Boo.  You still refuse to sleep anywhere other than your swing, couch or our bed.And your inches away from full on sucking on your thumb. It's so cute to chew on your fist. You can finally hold up your head pretty good, which is such a relief and you did so good with 2 month shots! You love your dad so much it amazes me. That you know the difference between us. You talk to him more than you talk to anyone else! You instantly smile when you see him. It melts my heart to see you guys playing around on the floor and it makes me even more excited for the future and when you get bigger. Well love, i'm sure when i try to lay down you'll wake up for your next feeding, either way I love you so much.  Love Mom.

Daddy tickling your ear

Month 2

Today you are 2 months! I honestly feel like you should be at least 4 or 5, but that's because I spend most of my time with you. You are my best friend. You're smile can turn my whole day around. Lately you've been super cranky, but thats okay, because it gives mommy a reason to let you fall asleep on my chest all day. (:


We have successfully breast feed for 2 months now which is a HUGE accomplishment for us! You and I both know it was hard at first but we stuck with it, and man it sure is a lot better for both of us a 4am when you wake up starving.

 You still hate tummy time, but the easter bunny brought you a new play gym with toys that hang above you and that thing keeps you busy for a good bit.

I take so many pictures of you it's kinda ridculous. We have over 1,000 now. I get a little carried away but I want to make sure that I have a picture for everyday at least and for every time you do something funny or insanely cute...which is obviously everyday.

You're freaking huge..and I mean that in a 12lb. 10 oz way. I think you're going to have blue eyes, and I know they say that babies eyes don't change until they are six months but they are changing into an even more beautiful blue every day.

We have a huge John Lennon poster in our living room and that poster seems to calm you down even when I can't get through to you. That and Florence and the machine.

My favorite things that you do though is when your nursing and you look up at me and try to talk. It makes my heart melt into a big mushy pile of goo. I can't help but want to hold you tight and never let go.

Well bug, I'm promise that i'll keep up with this as much as you'll let me. I love you so much and I know I tell you this every day but you mean so much to me. You're everything I have ever wanted and I promise that no matter what I will always have the patience and love to last you the rest of your life

Love Mommy

Month 1

(Mommy is playing catch up!) 

Today you are five weeks! You can almost hold your head up. You hate tummy time. And god forbid you wake up hungry. You cry until you can't breathe. You like baths, until it's time to get out. You coo and cah. And your smile is the most beautiful things i have ever seen. Your sleep schedule is always outta wack but you at least give mommy and daddy three- four hours in the middle of the night. You weigh 10.4 oz. Sometimes you cry in your sleep. It's the saddest thing i've ever seen. You look so much like daddy it's unreal. I wish that you liked me as much as you like him. You cry a lot for me. I know you love me, but daddy seems to have the magic touch.

Nolan Ashton Phifer, your birth story.

You made your entrance on February 9th 2012 at 11:32 pm  9lbs 1 oz. 21 3/4 inches.  . But we'll start from the beginning...

Your father and I went to the hospital on the 8th at 7:00 am .  I don't think we went to sleep until 3am that  morning. I woke up and took my regular shower and then it dawned on me that this would be the last time I took a shower with this huge belly. This would be the last time I brushed my teeth with this big belly. This would be the last few times I would feel you kick my ribs. After rounding everything up we were headed out the door. We arrived late of course... They checked us into our room and the began. They hooked up my IV ( I think that hurt more than some of the contractions.) Put the Foley bulb in (the device that made me dilate) and started the pitocin. Gotta say that was probably the most uncomfortable thing I have ever felt. Daddy and I walked around the hospital a good 10 times. Which worked, because at 2pm it fell out and I was 4 cm dilated. They up'd the pitiocin which made my contractions a lot worse. Eventually they gave me medicine which took the edge off but apparently it was doing too good of a job because my pain level went from a 6 to a 2 and the nurses felt like that was to drastic of a change and could stop you from working your way out.Personally I felt like I was on cloud nine.

 Every hour they checked me and by the end of the night I hadn't progressed any. So they stopped the pitocin and let me have dinner. I made daddy go get me Chinese. After being in labor all day, that Chinese was the best food i've ever eaten! I got some rest and we started all over again the next day. Pitiocin and walking around, but you still weren't making your progress. Eventually they put an internal monitor on you which made it even harder to move around. Around 6pm the contractions were getting unbearable. I finally gave into the epidural. I went in knowing that I was probably going to get one but I was proud of myself for going over 24 hours without it. After that the rest was history...just kidding. I got a well needed nap and woke up and was 6 cm. I was so excited because I was finally making progress. You were really gonna be here soon!..Or so we thought... My doctor came in and checked me at 10:30pm and broke the news that I wasn't 6cm..or even 5cms. I knew at this point we were gonna have to have a c-section. I was going on almost 34 hours and I could of went another 34 if I could of avoided having a c-section, but I could hear your heartbeat going up and down with every contraction and that scared me the most. I wanted to have you naturally but I also wanted to you safe. So off we went to the OR. They numbed from my stomach down. When they rolled me in I remember feeling so scared, but excited. All I felt was pressure. Your dad sat beside me and held my hand. We were quite. I laid there thinking of the past 9 months . The first time you kicked and how my heart dropped. How I knew that was kick. And the first time I saw you. I felt one good push and instantly I could breathe. I knew you were out, but I didn't hear you. Suddenly your raspy little voice filled the room. Your cry was so beautiful. They peaked your head over the curtain and i caught a glimpse of your eyes. They cleaned you up and brought you to me, and I looked at you and I thought you were the most unique looking baby I have ever seen. Nothing could of ever prepared me for what you looked like. You were beautiful , innocent, mine.

Your father was the first to hold you. I'm glad he was able to follow you to the nursery and make sure you were okay. The way he looked at you was so beautiful. His eyes all swollen with tears, I've never loved him more. 

You, my Little One

Are as stubborn as your father! Tomorrow were going to the doctor to schedule an induction, because you're having way to much fun in there and don't want to join us out here! Daddy and I moved into our new home. Your room is huge! We got you a new playpen and fancy sheets which your probably gonna puke all over, but thats okay. I can't wait to meet you and count your fingers and toes, and cuddle with you. Oh my goodness, i'm trying not to get too nervous but I can't help it!

On an even brighter note, you're going to have a new baby cousin soon too! Uncle Todd and Aunt Amanda are expecting their first little baby! So you'll have someone to grow up with and look over!

I love you so much Nolan, you have no idea. I can't wait to see you soon!
Love always
Mom

Nolan,

You're going to be so excited to see your new room! Your father and I have so many cool ideas and I cannot wait to get started! We got to see you this week, and your getting so big! The doctor said that your already 4 pounds! You like your naps during the day but at night you're so active. Flipping around and kicking out for hours. You get so excited when you hear your father play guitar, and I guess that makes two of us! You have a new cousin! Her name is Aliyah Kendall and your almost as big as her already!

I love you so much and I can't wait to meet you. You're getting so close to being here! <3